Sometimes life throws us a curve ball or two, or three or four….shoot maybe 10! You duck, dodge, juke and jive to avoid the damage you know it will cause and just when you think you got them beat, you turn to walk away and WHAP, right in-between the eyes. That stinkin’ curve ball got you, knocked you right into the dirt, and now your laying on your back looking up at the sky stunned thinking how did you get here and how will you get back up.
You see life threw me a huge one that finally got me! I had been ducking and dodging them for a while now and as soon as I exhaled and thought I could finally breath I got called into the office and told my future with the company was changing. Having the protection of a 9-5 allowed me so much flexibility with my photography business. When you are with a company for ten years you feel a sense of comfort and the thought of not having that security blanket terrified me. But I knew deep down somewhere inside staying another 10 years seemed unthinkable when it came to my photography goals and aspirations. It was not the actual job, but mainly the time I spent on the road getting to the job, two hours or longer stopped in bay area traffic, and that is one way. By the time I got home to start my career, my passion, my future, I was too tired. I cried a lot, out of frustration because I didn’t have the energy to put into my business what my heart wanted. The struggle was real, so as I listened to my boss explaining what my future was with the company I felt a weight slowly lift from my shoulders, as I knew God was working behind the scenes for me. He knew I didn’t have the courage to quit my job, the fear of failure was just too real, but he knows me better then I know myself. By the time I got home and had spoken to my husband I felt like I could breath for the first time in a long time. You see, I had been praying, praying that God would put me in a position that I could be the wife and mother I was called to be. I wanted to be able to kiss my boys goodbye in the morning and have dinner ready for them when they got home from a long day. This was my prayer, I prayed it over and over, what woman prays she can be home to do laundry? Well this girl did. Because you see all those times on the road commuting my husband cooked and cleaned and did the laundry. While I was gone on the weekends shooting weddings and family sessions he was home taking care of the dogs and our son. I loved my job, my team and have been blessed with some awesome managers but my life goals were not being fulfilled, to be a great wife, mother and photographer.
We look at curve balls as things meant to hurt us, and yes they sting like crazy when they make contact. Sometimes they crack a tooth, or black an eye, but there is always learning there. I am taking this opportunity to fulfill and honor the prayer I prayed to God, let my business grow and flourish and let me be home with my family in a way that I can enhance and make their lives easier. I don’t know what this means for me long term, I like working and mingling with co-workers and being a part of a team, but I also have enjoyed not having the commute. I do know the future needs to enable me to allow me to support my family in a way that I also feel fulfilled, all while doing something I am totally head over heals in love with. The first day after I was notified I walked into my home office and cried snot bubbles and then I prayed, and prayed and prayed some more. I asked God to anoint and guide me to be successful in ways I never imagined and walk beside me every step of this business, and it has been two weeks since I have been home and in those two weeks I have booked three weddings and few portrait sessions. God continues to answer my prayers throughout this process and it was just perfect timing as I launched my website. Who would have thought a rebrand of my business would also include a rebrand of me!
Click the image to check out my new website!